Family tree pain

 I’ve burried my pain in his despair
 using him has never been fair
 Deformed I now hide alone in de cold
 afraid I’ll contaminate the one I’ll hold
 for in my heart grows black contagious mold
 I’m not ready facing the pain
 the trauma that’s locked in my veins
 The blood that holds the memory
 of all who have been hurt before me

 In his victimhood I’ve forgotten my worth
 left me bitter and broken praying for our rebirth
 Fear spreads like oil filling every hole
 time told affection can only taint a soul
 got to keep my madness under strict control
 Heartbroken mother couldn’t stop the supression
 while every emotion of father turned into agression
 The burden of a herritage of all women before me
 suffering silently under the yoke of tiranny

 Hidden my grief complying to his every need
 too lost to face how it made my lonely heart bleed
 Been building a wall for many years
 abuse as cement mixed with bitter tears
 behind it I've stashed all my growing fears
 While time passed by it got too painfull to see
 the way I’ve let him take my dignity
 The curse of the iron fist of all men before me
 who never learned to set their emotions free
©Floor el Omari 2021

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